Dating – Getting closer to finding your soulmate!

Soul mates are not just fictional characters that you read about in romantic novels. That perfect protagonist who has all the looks, that sultry grey eyes, and the fitted t-shirt and that oh-so-sharp jawline. Winning hearts with his humble attitude. Or that suave lady you spot at the coffee house, reading ‘To kill a mockingbird with a double shot espresso for a Saturday afternoon. That quaint smile immediately draws your interest, that face which is going to be stuck in your head for weeks while you will be wishing for another chanced encounter where if only you could know the name. Serendipity hits and that one look that is all it takes for you to fall head over heels for this person right in front of you. You get this strong intuition that this is the one. That’s it you have found the one whom you want to wake up to every morning for the rest of your life.

But how often do you think do these things happen to real people? Outside the fancy world of novels and fictional fantasies, there is a world where you can hang out with anyone but not everyone is the one meant to be. You can go fish in the sea, hopeful of finding someone with the same frequency as yours. Someone who can amplify that feeling and bring out the emotions behind them. So let’s delve into a realm to find that one person who makes you feel surreal. Relationships can be tricky and a hell of a lot of work but you need to understand that whatever struggles you are going through can never be put above the two of you.

The first impression

The good adage goes that the first impression is the last and although that is not entirely correct it sure comes into play when it comes to dating. Who hasn’t spent hours deciding what to wear on the first date, the dress, and the footwear, to look chic or too bold? Which perfume to wear. There is a thought process that goes into it. You don’t just go and hang around with someone if you want to continue seeing more of them. It is not just about the looks, you want to know more about what kind of person he or she is and whether this is going to work out or not. If so for how long.

The trend these days is that people get to know each other through social media where you already have a person that someone visiting your profile can see, it’s like a movie trailer but that for sure can be deceiving. It is good to have a casual catching up with the history of the person but you don’t want to creep them out by spilling that you have used all your expert stalking skills already on them. People have the liberty to talk to someone they are attracted to while remaining within their comfort zone. And once they get to know each other that’s when you ask someone out. But make sure you don’t fall head over heels with someone’s virtual personality. You have got to do it the good old-fashioned way, over a cup of coffee!

The third time’s a charm

By the third date, you both must have become comfortable around each other, all the apprehensions vanished and looking more on the bright side of things. You have already discussed your proclivities and the common interests have been sorted out. Zodiacs matched and even compatibilities checked out. But the pace of the relationship entirely depends upon the people involved. There is no harm in taking things slow and if your date does not appreciate that, it’s a red flag. Maybe both of you expect different things out of the relationship and if not now this might come up later. It going smooth is a heads up that this might grow into something more than just a casual fling.

Communication is the key, and no matter at what point of the relationship you are in, you have to convey your thoughts clearly than letting one assume things. Which if not taken care of at the right time, can cause a lot of damage at times. Come clean about things that you don’t like, your motive is not just to impress the person in front of you, you want to know them for who they are. It is okay to have opposite opinions about the same thing. The key is, even though you do not support their opinion, whether you are ready to listen and reason out with them. Or let ego take the center stage and ruin a probably good thing. Don’t leave everything to chance, you want something, you work for it. One way or another true love will find its way. You just have to make sure that the journey is beautiful as well.

The real deal

Don’t be afraid of long-term commitment. You are bound to grow together with someone you spend your entire day with. You tend to fall for their every little gesture and the particular way they do things. Be it a perfect fairy tale romance or a bumpy ride, as long as both of you are working towards attaining a common goal. Trying to work with each other rather than against each other, anything and everything can be sorted out. The real relationships that we are talking about, are not always a 50-50 percent contribution from both sides. It might be a 70 -30 or even a 20-80. Again you have to accept the flaws and look past them. Also, not letting them jeopardize the entire relationship. Own up for your mistakes and apologize, put in a little extra effort to keep things going. In a relationship that goes perfectly smooth, you are looking for someone who will support you. One who helps you get past the difficult time, not making it harder than it already is. Someone willing to put your concerns above theirs. And if you already have someone like that, don’t squander it.

If you go looking for a soul mate in every other person you meet, you might never find one. Work with the person you are with. If they are meant to be the one they will be, and if not you will know. In a life where time is precious, people want celerity in emotional connections which otherwise takes a lot of time. Finding someone with whom you would want to slow down and appreciate life is something very special. Once you find it, you’ve got to do whatever it takes to keep it.  Go ahead make some mistakes, take your own time and find your coincidence in the chaos.