Single mother and survival tactics
Single mother and survival tactics
There are hundreds and thousands of books all around the world about motherhood and parenting, about being a single mother, or how to be a supermom. But this is mutually exclusive to the mother and the child. People have penned down their experiences and how they dealt with situations or when they teenage years, but all you will gather are opinions and experiences from fellow mothers. Your child is a one and only, you are one and only, there is no one else like you so how can you seek your bond in words out down by others?
Make no mistake when you hear a heartfelt story about a mother braving the harsh realities of the world and would do anything to protect her child, it is true and your eyes well up you can feel that weight that is because you relate to that emotion, given a chance you would also do the same for your child. But books are only helpful so far. What you do is up to you, it is your own individual experiences that will guide you through the difficult times.
These things mentioned here you might already know because you have been doing the same. At times all you need is reassurance that what you are doing. You might know your way through a lot of things, but you’d still go through the instruction manual just to double-check. But kids don’t come with any instructions just with a bundle of joy.
The Kid:
We talk about empowerment, we talk about respect, when it comes to a woman independent and capable to raise her child on her own, we are all but left in awe and a wave of respect sweeps over. All of that is right in its own place but no matter what, every situation has two sides to the same coin. No doubt being a single mother is a daunting task and with the kind of psychological shift in people’s attitude towards women in recent years it’s definitely has a very positive impact, but the fix is that Motherhood comes with sacrifices and tough life-changing decisions.
Importance of a father figure:
What people miss is that it is the life of more than just the mother here in the context. No one is questioning the fact that Moms can very well play the roles of both a father as well as a mother. But not everything can be done at the end of the day you need to make peace with the fact that your kid has one half of the family missing and however hard you try to compensate, there is always going to be a gaping void no one else can fill, not even the mother. So it is very important that there is someone whom they can consider as a father figure. Maybe your brother or your dad anyone in the life of the kid whom they can idolize, or whom you can give example as to what qualities they should pick up.
Not everything is controllable:
There are always going to be variables you cannot control. Do not lose sleep over it. If you have three kids in the house, there is no way in hell the place will be spick and span every evening you come home from work. So let it go, there is no point obsessing over the few things that will take a longer time to instill in the kids. You cannot control all the variables and you need to accept that. Don’t over-stress yourself with trivialities that don’t matter at the moment.
Take out time for your family:
Work a schedule that suits your family. That comes without saying that you would want to spend maximum time with your kids. But at times when you need a little more do not hesitate to go to your boss and explain the situation. Everyone would be supportive and considerate enough to help however they can.
Get your personal kid’s free time:
Do whatever you want in it be it a day to the spa or a mani-pedi. You deserve that, at least once a week takes up an activity that does not include your children. Go on a date or go out with friends, relax and de-stress a little, that way you can get back to your kids and treasure them more.
Regroup:
When doing through the teenage drama or even if your little kids are giving you a tough time, take time to regroup, leave the scene or shut your eyes or count backward whatever helps you to regain control. You will face numerous situations where you will be very close to losing your sanity, but yelling is not healthy for the child, reprimanding is not the answer you need to find other productive and healthy ways to teach your child the difference between what’s right and wrong.
Ignorance is bliss:
There will be all kinds of people, some with accolades and other nitwits who would spread rumors about everything you do. Criticism is inevitable but you need to keep your head held high and not let the naysayers affect you in any way. How is she doing that, why did she not marry, something must be wrong with her and whatnot. There is no point in indulging or even paying heed to what opinions other have for you. Because all that matters is your family and for them, you have to be the role model, not for the world.
